The Changing Face of Marriage

Having grown up in a big Italian Catholic family, religion has always been a part of my life. My ‘domestic church’ has been my 13 years of Catholic school education and the Christian morals my family members have instilled in my brother sister and me. Every Sunday my family and I would attend mass where I was forced to sit, listen, and pay attention unlike other children who played with toys and ate cheerios. To this day, I am thankful that we have continued going to church each week. As a family, each night we say prayers before dinner as well. Quite recently, my dad began recording this man Dr. Stanley on the TV for days we are unable to attend mass. My dad truly does try to make an effort to keep our faith growing within the household.

As for the movie “He’s Just Not Into You”, the changing face of marriage is very prevalent. It’s nice to see how families are taking on many different shapes and forms to fit their needs and lifestyles. However, I must agree with Jennifer Aniston’s character that marriage is another sacred step in expressing and sharing a couple’s love for one another. I do not agree with cohabitation. It’s probably my old fashioned Catholicism that causes me to believe this. I don’t feel that the couple is able to receive the real experience of moving in together after marriage. There’s no new spark to keep their relationship thriving.

The study shown that couples with college degrees have a lesser chance of divorcing than couples that do not seems accurate. For those couples with the degree, they tend to have greater intelligence and therefore may know how to deal with marital situations better. Also, they were obviously committed and hardworking people while studying for their degree so I’m sure that commitment and hard work is then put into the marriage. As for me when I grow up to have children, I do hope to teach my kids my faith through praying together, attending church together, and acting kind towards each other.

Some Say Love. . .

In the English language, the word “love” can be defined in many different ways. But to love someone you’re in a committed relationship is a lot different than loving pizza or your favorite song. Agape love is a kind of selfless love where one is willing to love the other person unconditionally. In time when I find myself involved in another committed relationship, I hope to find happiness in spending time with him. I hope to share respect, beliefs, and interests. In being committed to one another I hope to find someone who will be faithful to me, supportive and understanding. These key factors will help in making the committed relationship a success. I don’t believe in sole mates because one can learn to love many people but happen to decide on a person who seems suitable. However, I do believe in people who have fallen deeply in love and are willing to work through their relationship when times get rough. The following love songs, these qualities in having a committed relationship are expressed.

The first song, God Gave Me You by Blake Shelton talks about how thankful he is to how found a girl that will be by his side no matter the circumstance. He hopes and prays that they will last forever because he is so grateful for all that she does for him.
Cause God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
And for when I think I lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it's true
God gave me you

The second song, Thirteen by Ben Kweller is a less popular song with a simple tune. However, the lyrics express a love that wasn’t started by looks or sex but rather the happiness that comes along with spending time with each other as they slowly watched their love grow.

My third love song is, Begin Again by Taylor Swift. This song expresses the misconceptions of dating again after being heartbroken. She’s surprised and impressed with the boy and her newfound love compared to the previous one. She is appreciative of the attention and support he gives her.
Bubbly, by Colbie Caillat refers to the first signs of falling in love and how the warmth feeling overtakes her body.
It starts in my toes
And I crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

Lastly, in the song Crash My Party by Luke Bryan, he’s explaining that he’ll always be there for her no matter what. Is willing to cancel all of his plans to be with her.
If you wanna call me, call me, call me.
You don’t have to worry ‘bout it baby.
You can wake me up in the dead of the night;
Wreck my plans, baby that’s alright.

Gender

Although one may consider my childhood to have been stereotypical for a little girl; always playing house, Barbies and baby dolls, dress up and makeup, doing cheerleading and dancing for ten years, I also did many boyish stereotypical things like ride bikes, play in creeks, and have a catch to name a few. I was never a tomboy and never a girlie girl. I believe my parents played a huge role in this evenly split balance. They’ve always given me options; never did they decide or tell me what they wanted or expected of me. They are my support system. No one in my life has really ever stated to me what girls should do and what boys should do. I was always given the option to decide for myself.

Having an older brother and a younger sister, I believe has been the ultimate blessing. Both my sister and I have been given the opportunity to play in the dirt with my brother, play video games with him and play on the same soccer team as him. I have also been given the opportunity to play with barbies and paint nails. On the opposite side, my brother was given the opportunity to play dolls with us, not that he ever did though. I don’t believe he didn’t play with dolls because of a stereotypical reason, I believe that he generally did not find playing with dolls to be entertaining. My male cousin, unlike my brother used to play dolls and house with my cousins and I. Never once did I find it odd that he played with us until I got older and he grew out of that stage and began playing sports and videogames. That’s when the stereotypes of boys and girls started to make sense to me. Luckily my aunt and uncle never pressured my cousin to fit the social norms of being an athletic boy rather than playing with girls, he mostly chose that path on his own.

Attending an all girls’ school has opened my eyes to the strength women have. I feel I possess all of the strengths a man has as well as feel equal to men in every way. Although society objectifies women, the Mount has taught me to appreciate my gender and encourage other young women to do the same. I have come to value my education and use not having boys in my school to my advantage. Without them, I have become more comfortable with who I am and who I am becoming.

In a romantic relationship, I believe I will look for something similar to that of which my parents have. I feel I’ll search for a man who respects me by showing manners and being chivalrous towards me. On the other hand, I don’t feel it necessary for me to be the one to stay at home cooking and cleaning. My husband and I can take turns with those chores because I would like to make a living just as my mom does. I admire their relationship these expectations of mine go hand in hand with my parents marriage.

Miss Representation

After watching Miss Representation, I began viewing gender with a whole new perspective. Even though I was always aware of the ‘men are greater than women’ discrepancy, I was never aware of how prevalent it is in the modern world. Women are constantly being judged no matter their race, occupation, and political viewpoints. We have become objectified and sexualized. Unfortunately, the media has played a key role in this. The media portrays men to be the beholders of power. What about women? We are just as intelligent and ethical as them. Why aren’t we perceived as power as well? This question may be answered by stating that many woman have turned to self-objectification, believing they are worth less than men and for that believe they do not deserve the same respect or equality as men. Therefore, stepping up and working towards their goals in a “man’s” field such as politics seems close to impossible and intimidating for them. Luckily, there are women that stand up for their rights and have the confidence and independence to work along side men in high positions and even hold higher positions than men. With that being said, these women must find a way to boost the morale of the female race and help make advancements throughout the world. I hope that when it’s my turn to enter into the workforce this issue will decrease.

In terms of the article in U.S. Catholic, I do not agree with the actions Roth took in regards to speaking to her friend’s daughter. Yes, the girl’s dress may have been a little too revealing and scandalous but it is none of her business. Personally, if a woman were to come up to me and address the same issue, I’d feel embarrassed and uncomfortable. The actions that I thought would be fitting for Roth in this situation would have been to speak with the teen’s mother and address the issue with her. Then the mother could take authority and help to improve her daughter’s wardrobe. If for some reason, the daughter did not agree with the mother’s decision then I feel it would have been appropriate for Roth to personally intervene with the teen. However, I do agree with the issue that sexualization has become a major issue and unfortunately it is becoming the “norm” and maybe that’s part of the reason why parents aren’t even acknowledging the way their daughters are dressing or behaving.

Luckily for me, as a teenage female attending a prestigious all girls private school, I have truly learned and grasped the meaning behind being a strong, confident, and independent young woman. The Mount has taught me how to use my strengths to my advantage and be willing to accept my weaknesses. I have learned how to respect myself as well as my peers. Besides that, I believe the no ‘boy-judgment’ zone has been beneficial to me as a student. I have been able to focus more of my attention on my studies and do not find the need to have to impress my classmates by doing my makeup and hair everyday. In all honesty, I have been able to stand up for my sexuality and move past the negativity this world has created for the female race and be true to my goals, my accomplishments, and myself.

Dating and Hooking Up

For those who are against dating, they view dating as a leeway into a marriage that will lead to divorce. Although the person in the relationship has the ability to “break up” much easier than in a marriage, I don’t agree with the statement that goes along with not having a long lasting marriage. Dating allows a person to get to know someone and in a sense test if that person is his or her type. There’s nothing bad about that. As long as both people in the relationship are aware that they are searching for true love and want to settle down, then everything else will come naturally. For those people who are just looking to date someone to have steady hook ups is where the problem may come about. This hooking up culture can be perceived in many different directions. There really isn’t a straight definition to go along with the term “hooking up”. This culture views hooking up as a daily routine that goes along with high school and college kids. I can honestly say I don’t agree with the benefits of having a one night “hook up” with whatever they may consist of. I don’t believe there are any benefits other than the so-called bodily pleasure. Other than that I feel as if it can cause long-term effects of longing for something more, feeling worthless, and feeling lonely.

Russ and Maria's Love Story- Reflection

Russ and Maria’s love story has opened my eyes to a new perspective of relationships in my own life. My parents believe that faith, love, respect and communication are the key components to having a successful marriage. Listening to them tell their story from the beginning, I can see how their love has grown and changed over the years from just being infatuated with one another when they first met to now being full on compassionate for one another. For me, understanding how love evolves over time has helped me better understand the different aspects that come into play.

Love is a special gift from God that brings many joys to our lives, but there will be difficult times. While facing those difficult times with your partner, you’ll end up coming out stronger, closer, and more in love. As long as we cherish the love God has created for us, we’ll find the faith, respect and communication to share with another person. At first, the couple can spend all the time in the world obsessing over each other but eventually they will start a family. With that family, come greater responsibilities and possibilities for error and arguments. However, I feel that through my parents having my older brother, younger sister, and I, they were able to connect their love in a different way.

Nowadays, the relationships shown on television and the movies have a completely different outlook on the significance of marriage. Many couples are divorced, one may be an alcoholic or in jail, they may not show respect towards one another, or many times the children seem to run the family and make the decisions. For example, the reality TV show, The Kardashians. The parents are now separated/divorced living in separate houses. My personal outlook is that they did not try hard enough to fix their problems. I feel if they have a love connection there is a way to solve the issues. I know my parents have fights break out here and there but they’re willing and able to put it past them and continue to grow in love.

Another media misconception of marriage is the TV show Pretty Little Liars where one of the parents has an affair. To me, this is not the kind of example the media should be setting for us. It concerns me that they think it’s appropriate to depict marriage and love as such an ordinary “who cares” kind of object that can get thrown around here and there. However, there are shows that perceive love as a genuine gift except they’re reruns such as The Cosby’s and Full House. In these shows, the adults show love and respect towards one another as well as to their children they are raising. For a relationship between two people to last, the underling bond of respect and communication is most definitely needed in order to have success.

Thinking back to my interview with my parents, I believe the song that best model’s their love story is their wedding song, I Believe in You and Me. Whitney Houston sings, “I believe that love will never end / And like the river finds the sea / I was lost now I’m free.” Together, my parents created the love bond over the past twenty-five years they’ve been together. They taught each other how to love and opened each other’s eyes to new meanings in life. Houston also sings, “ I will never leave your side / I will never hurt your pride.” These lyrics express how they have respect for each other, how they think before they speak and how they’ll always stick together. And lastly the phrase, “I believe in you and me’” applies to their everyday lifestyle and how they know tough times may come and go between them but they both agree that the love they share for one another will come out ahead of all else.